I'm loving the balance of my life right now between watching the grand kids and time alone. I am finding that I love both, one keeps me feeling needed and the other keeps me sane. Tip the balance either way and I can get a bit grumpy and discontent.
I wrote about the season of transition from full house to empty nest I'm in right now a couple of weeks ago and I just happened on this video from Stephanie of The Honey Pot where she talks about how she found contentment as her nest became empty. I was already moving into thriving and enjoying this time but she just confirmed my feelings with her words of encouragement.
I think every stage of our lives can have a bit of discontentment mingled in.
Finding joy in every season, acknowledging the brevity of time and finding something positive, unique and cherish worthy, is the key to really enjoying life no matter what stage of life we're in. Don't you think? This can be especially true with our children.
My daughters are 28 and 30 and I'm learning to treat them as friends and to just enjoy my time with them. Accepting that I have taught them (through words and hopefully by example) all they need to know to be good, kind people. Trying to wait for them to ask my advice before I give it and accepting that they are going to live their lives and raise their kids to the best of their ability with their own ideas and that's okay.
If I sound like this comes easy to me, it definitely does not. Everything in my personality wants to hold on and take control. If they would just do it my way life would be so much easier, right? It has taken me a whole lot of years of learning and re-learning this lesson the hard way to finally accept the inevitable, I am not in control.
The coolest thing is that now that I've arrived at this point, each of my girls has reminded me in the last week or two that they still need and want me to be their mom as well as their friend and I think that does make it a pretty wonderful world.
xo, Patty
Prints of this original mixed media art piece are available in my etsy shop here.
I'm so glad I found your blog! With my oldest son married and about to make me a Grammy, I find myself having to bite my tongue because I want so badly to "guide" them through some decisions right now. They are procrastinating and it drives me insane!
ReplyDeleteYou're also giving me great hope about using my time to fill up my own tank in a few years, when Collin is taking his wings :)
So, thank you for the inspiration!
Patty - Wonderful post! I'm learning to adjust in a different way, but an adjustment it is. Love your collage.
ReplyDeleteJudy
I saw that video too! Honestly, I sat there and thought, "so I'm not the only one who felt like my world was falling apart when my kids left home." It isn't easy, but I find that my blogger friends are much more transparent about those hard times than the friends I see every day. I think we tend to put up the façade that everything is just fine and it can keep us feeling a bit alone in our trials. Thank you for talking about this Patty. I know that eventually everything calms down and we find our new place in this world, the place that doesn't revolve around our children.
ReplyDeleteMy son is "only" 24 but he's off on his own at university. We have a very close, open relationship and I like that he talks to me about almost anything, but there's certain things I don't like or approve of. I try not to lecture him (too much, lol) and instead just let some things go because like you said, there's just some things that we can't control - as much as we want to! I clicked on the link to the video, but there isn't a video on that blog...looks like you have to go through signing up for some kind of course through Jeanne Oliver, then find the video?
ReplyDeleteMy daughter is 19 and at college. We see her a lot still since the college is close, but it is so hard for me to let go. She's her own young lady and we are close, but it is just hard for me.
ReplyDeleteYour sweet art is lovely. Happy, cheerful.
What a pretty piece and it looks so nice on your mantel.
ReplyDeleteSo beautifully written and shared beautiful one. (((((hugs)))))
ReplyDeletexo,
Kim