and for this, I give thanks

My mom is worried about me.  I know this because she has been having people call me “out of the blue” to check on me.  Like many of you, my world has been turned upside down once again.  And true to form, her mama bear instincts and defense mechanisms have kicked in and she wants to make sure I’m okay.  I reassure her that I am, she marvels at my strength and yet, she continues to worry.  I love her for that but I really am fine.

“It’s the absence of the thing that startles: I have no fear.  I’m looking at barns counting gifts, and I’m jarred: There is no choking angst.  I am not anxious and I breathe easy and that worry child I’ve clung to , she deserts.  I feel no fear and it makes no sense.  The market still teeters, the future of our livelihood still hangs precarious, and there are still no guarantees, no assurances, no change.  Nothing has materially changed since yesterday’s fears, last weeks’ anxiety.  But I have.”  Ann Voskamp, one thousand gifts



As I read these words during my quiet time this morning I couldn’t help but give thanks to God for his assurances and the peace that comes from trusting him with everything.
Everything is a lot…it is my marriage, my children, my relationships, my health, my finances, my very existence and salvation.  It is…natural disasters, food, shelter and random violence.  It is…did I lock the doors, turn off the stove and close the garage door.  It is…do my children know God, are they well adjusted and do they do well in school.  It is…am I a good mom, a good wife and a good enough daughter.  It is…fill in the blank with whatever worrisome thought pops into my mind and even those that don’t.
Somewhere along the way I decided to trust God with e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g.



Believe me, this hasn’t always been the way in my life.  I have wasted many hours deep in the pit of worry.  I have spent countless sleepless nights choking on the angst and real struggles of the day.  I have shed buckets of tears and pulled the covers over my head and desired to never come out from under them again
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“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything.  Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.  Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand, His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”  Philippians 4:6-7

I know the tears will still flow, the sorrow will cut deep and the thanks will be hard, but my trust will never waiver because His love will never change, His promises will never fall short and the ending has already been written.

And for this I give thanks.

xo, Patty