It doesn't matter where the hurt and disappointments come from...more often than not I am in the front of the line when they are handed out, giving my fair share with my very own set of expectations for the people in my world.
It is far easier for me to close the door and protect my heart while waiting for time to heal and I find a rug to brush things under, than it is to face life head on. I wish I had more courage. I wish I didn't fear what letting go might bring. But I do...so, I retreat.
Sorry for this melancholy post but my life is real and sometimes it can get messy. I am sitting here looking at the keys on my computer wondering if this is one I hit publish on or if I simple close the screen and call it therapy?
But then it occurs to me that your lives are complicated, too. No matter how many pretty pictures we post, life is not and cannot be perfect because we are not. It also occurs to me that this is why we seek out the beauty, the flowers, the happy porches and smiling kids because even hard, imperfect lives are good and rich and meaningful and full of little joys.
A friend just said to me, will all this matter in five years? Will these giants you are facing seem as large down the road? The honest answer is, I don't know. Some of them may, I know many of them will not. What I do know is that my faith tells me that I have a Savior that has my yesterdays, today's and tomorrows in the palm of his hand and He hasn't let go of me yet. And with that knowledge I find a little more courage and a lot more hope than I could ever muster on my own.
And so I start each day seeking out the pockets of beauty everywhere and not a day goes by that I don't find it all around. (I'm fine mom, just feeling a little bruised...no need to worry.)
xo, Patty
I hear you I'm glad you shared life can be very crazy so many ups and downs sometimes people we thought cared for us let us down that hurts most of all! I've had to deal with that and it has been difficult.. I know I will heal... in time...
ReplyDeleteWell written. Your not alone. This is a complicated world and people come and go out of your life. Sickness and worries can knock on our doors. Some we can face others we have to give them over to the Lord really all of them we should. And half times we don't. As we were not born to be solvers. The Lord is. After all he is the one who created the Universe and you and I in it.. And being a Christina myself. He is the one who controls time in our lives and wipes away the tears. I hear you loud and clear. The Amazing Grace of God is real. Divine Love . He is always there.
ReplyDeleteLove oyur beautiful flowers. Flowers have a lotof natural healing powers dont thee.
You are not alone. I too find myself retreating when life gets difficult and complicated. Thank you for sharing... Praying for you.
ReplyDeleteI for one am glad you didn't hit delete after writing this post. I am sorry you have had some bumps in the road but there are some out there (me included) that need to hear how you approach those little hurts and disappointments. Some times we need to retreat a little from the world to get in touch with our healer. Jesus is there for you and me and all of those who will let him in. Feel better my friend, we all have these times and it helps to know we are not alone.
ReplyDeletePatty - so sorry for the bumps but everyone has them. Everyone needs to know that we all have them and the ONLY way to handle them is with the grace from our Lord. I do not understand how those who do not have the Lord in their lives survive the many ups and downs of life.
ReplyDeleteHope you are better soon. Blessings to you friend.
Judy
Seeking out little pockets of beauty, I like your words, and your photos show some of those pretty moments. I most of us retreat from time to time so that is good of you to share.
ReplyDeleteSuch a timely post today Patty. Thanks for sharing and know you are not alone in your journey, if when you need to retreat, others are thinking of you!
ReplyDeletePatty, In living life, I think our instruction book is the bible....we do our best, we have to try to face it all. We say , "God this is what I am facing today, I sure need your help. " It's hard to just hand it over to God, we tend to worry. I am sending you hugs , xoxo,Susie
ReplyDeleteit's the bumps in life when we grow the most.....it's just a bummer pain is usually involved....
ReplyDeleteI do the same thing. I don't feel very brave sometimes either. But we do our best. We can't kick ourself over this. I love your pictures. Your gardens are beautiful!
ReplyDeleteBumps and bruises, I think we all get them more than we admit. Mothers even more often. Retreat is just refilling our tanks for more giving, something we all need to do on occasion. Thank you for sharing your heart Patty, although we will probably never meet, we do care. I will say a prayer that your retreat bears good fruit and your tank gets refilled. Sending love...
ReplyDeletePatty,
ReplyDeleteI appreciate this post so much because honestly, I get tired of reading all the good stories and rarely the real-life hardships. Life is full of ups and downs and when we can be honest about our struggles, we can touch people's hearts in a unique way.
I tend to share my feelings like this too, and then wonder if I should or not. I think authenticity is hard to find anymore.
So thank you.
Please know that you are not alone...I do the same thing as well. Thank you for speaking from your heart <3 Love and prayers to you!
ReplyDeletePatty I am sorry you are going through this. Life is so messy right? Our week has been stressful around here but I am looking forward to the weekend. We need to get together soon. Going to text you.
ReplyDeleteOf course you're not alone in feeling the way you do. We've all been there, because life isn't perfect. Just remember that with bad eventually comes good, even if we can't see it. I'll say a prayer for you, Patty.
ReplyDelete(((hugs)))
rue
I'm a retreater too Pataty. I don't know if I used to be like that but certainly as I'm getting older it becomes my default maneuver. And I think that's ok. I hope you are soon on the other side of it!
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ReplyDeleteI used to be a lasher-outer... But found that to be futile, only adding to the problem. No, retreating is often necessary, every good strategist will tell you, FALL BACK AND REGROUP! Many big battles are won that way.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you have this struggle right now- but you know Whom you have believed and have committed to that day.
As for bumps and bruises-- I'm very clumsy and I bruise easy. 😉