our hidden dreams...

2/21/14

I am on full time gramma mode to my five year old grandson for the next two weeks while mommy adjusts to the new babe.  That means tee ball practice and kindergarten drop offs along with the usual "why", "how come" and "just one more time" questions and requests that need answers around the clock.


As I dropped Andrew off at his classroom this morning I was reminded of that old quote by Robert Fulghum, "All I really need to know I learned in kindergarten".

Andrew's class has just started to do show and tell each week.  The kids bring a treasure from home to share with the class, telling them just why it's so special to them.  I watched as one little girl carefully cradled her treasure in her hands, hiding it from her classmates, peeking in through the tiny hole she left exposed by her cupped fingers.

As the other kids watched her they became enthralled with what must certainly be a rare treasure that she was hiding.  The more she kept it hidden, the more they needed to know it's identity.

Finally she uncurled her fingers to expose a small blue plastic ring.  The kids took one look, shrugged their shoulders and went on about their business.  She turned away heart broken.  The thing she kept hidden, her treasure that she had guarded so carefully, meant nothing to them.



Isn't that how we can be, too?  We hide our most secret dreams from others out of fear that they won't be safe once shared.  That our hearts desire will simply be dismissed once exposed...so we hold our tongues, we squelch our passions and we live less than abundant lives.

I remember being that little girl.  I remember the pain of rejection.  It has hindered my creative self my whole life.


I have a dream or two that I hold back from the world but I am slowly learning to trust those closest to me with my heart and am taking baby steps to make those dreams a reality.  Am I scared, you bet.

I am finding that my fear is not in failing but in disappointing...myself and others.

I have decided that I cannot let that fear hold me back.  I don't want to wake up someday filled with regrets.  What about you?  Any dreams that you are holding on to for fear of exposing something that won't be treasured?  I say the fear of regret is much greater than the fear of failure...let's dare to live our dreams together.

xo, Patty

10 comments

  1. Okay my treasured friend! As I sit here reading your blog I can't help but to allow those tears roll down my face. I for SO many years allowed myself to be insecure about who I am, what I treasured in life. The fear of rejection the fear of not being good enough, smart enough....always kept me hiding who I was. To a point of being a bully to protect others, and myself. If I bullied them first, they wouldn't want to hurt me (false appearances). I FINALLY, know who I am, and I like who I am, what I stand for and what I treasure. thanks for sharing! Love the moment of full time gramma mode, you deserve!!

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  2. Great post! Loved the story of the little girl.
    Brenda

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  3. Patty, I am sending you a big hug , for any sadness you suffered as a little girl. I have been there. I wish I could have hugged the girl with the ring. Patty , you are stronger and more talented than you realize. Blessings, xoxo,Susie

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  4. Beautiful post. I also have that book by Robert Fulghum and a couple more by him.

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  5. I'm sorry that your memories that you have carried so long were so hurtful. You can learn so much from children. I am hoping that the teacher turned that situation around for the little girl. If she is a good one she may have made the other ones become interested. It's also a good time to tell your grandson that even though someone has something he isn't interested in that it is nice to act like he is.
    I remember having show and tell with my 3 year old class. I had one little boy that would obsess so much about someone's item that we had to stop show and tell. We couldn't move forward. This little guy was always getting into trouble. I was lucky to see him when he was a senior a few years back. He was tall and very handsome. He was also one of the smartest kids in his class. Go figure. Good luck with your new role. I know you will enjoy it.

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  6. Great post. I do know what you mean.
    xx oo

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  7. This is a thoughtful post with plenty of heart behind it, Patty. The older I get, the clearer it's becoming that I needn't live my life to suit how others think I should. I certainly haven't mastered the concept, but am taking steps in that direction. I look forward to reading more about your dreams.

    Karen

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  8. I remember giving a bouquet of bright yellow dandelions to my third grade teacher and she took them and threw them in the trash can. I was heartbroken. I thought they were beautiful.

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  9. I feel so badly for the little girl...I think we all feel what she was feeling. I, too,, worry most about disappointing others or that my dreams will fall short in their eyes. Wise words, Patty. Thank you.

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  10. I think this fear of rejection is a universal feeling. I know I have felt it my whole life. One of the things I have loved so much about blogging is the affirmation and loving encouragement I have received from so many friends that I have never met in person! It has changed my outlook, made me braver and more sure of myself. I still struggle with that fear, but I now know that my dreams are worth taking a chance on and I know my friends and family have my back. I have had things that didin't work, but they have become lessons rather than "failures". You have a TON of talent Patty, follow your dreams and don't worry that they will be rejected. We have your back, and you have the talent!

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